I broke up with social media

because I want to live in the real world

Hi loves,

Today I’m sharing a little story about my social media ennui and my short bout of trying to become an influencer (dear reader, I did not).

Friedrich Heyser’s Ophelia

I used to be chronically online.

At the moment of being awakened by my alarm, I would start scrolling through Instagram, in an attempt to wake myself up, barely even registering what I saw. Some invisible thread kept my thumb moving up and up until I saw the checkmark denoting I had seen everything. Seeing this check gave me some faux sense of satisfaction as if I had just crossed off a task on a non-existing to-do list.

Before I halted my social media consumption, I even dipped my toe in the insurmountable influencing world. This was during Covid times and the consecutive onset of self-care habits. I, like many others, had just discovered the Fit Girl side of the online world and wanted to join in. I bought an Apple Watch so I could track yet one more thing in life (it’s currently collecting dust in a drawer somewhere). I had no joy in creating reels but it worked out and my account had started on the algorithm track heading for virality.

In this moment, I convinced myself that I was on some amazing journey and that my life would be so much better if I could make influencing a reality.

What I did not realise at the time was the disappointment when I didn’t receive an inclining amount of views on a new video or the derision that came from not having the right workout gear to make me look spectacular or the right apartment to convince people I had a clean aesthetic. And so my mental health and financial situation suffered. I spoke of me living up to an aesthetic and the real cost of it in a previous post but at the time I was knee-deep in the consumerism trap I set myself. Not only did I lose track of my bank account, I lost a sense of myself in the process.

My false sense of security around the amount of followers and likes I received soon shrank but I was left with a perfectionism over something I wasn’t even proud of, plus a habit of scrolling through numbing content to find an unreachable destination of satisfaction. It only dawned on me when I started my job as a marketing manager at an interior firm last year that not only was I chronically fatigued, but had a fervent dislike for social media and didn’t want to spend my days working to create reels 24/7.

I want to add here that I don’t consider working in social media as inferior or in any way shameful. But you need to be headspace-resilient. And I applaud you if you are. There is a very delicate balance you need to master between inspiring others and scrutinising yourself. I had to face myself and realise I didn’t have the energy for the online world of socials. I find it exhausting, not exhilarating, to constantly be on the pulse of gen-z trends and sounds. I am someone better equipped to absorb information slowly. There’s a reason for my being a slow reader and my general preference for movies over series (scroll through to the end for a list of movies that will inspire you to live in the present).

So ever since the job that made me realise my aversions, I’ve been slowly quitting social media (ironically, this has become somewhat of a trend). And although it frightens me, I wonder whether I should just delete most of my apps altogether, to really call in a fresh new chapter. For my time to be better spent on hobbies like writing or simply pondering thoughts while staring at a wall.

That all being said, I love Substack (for the most part) and it will be the only platform I’ll be investing in for the foreseeable future (besides my occasional Instagram post - just for fun). My obsessive mind points out that I lack the proper engagement, that I don’t exploit the algorithm or am not posting notes every day. Even my newsletters have periods of dwindling. But in the end, I enjoy it here, even if just for me and me alone. I’m thankful for one person reading and liking this post. I’ll bask in that abundant luxury for as long as I can.

recommendations that will inspire you to live in the real world:

Films

Dead Poets Society (1989)

Little Miss Sunshine (2006)

Lost in Translation (2003)

About Time (2013)

Begin Again (2013)

The Breakfast Club (1985)

Amélie (2001)

Books

• What You Are Looking For Is in the Library by Michiko Aoyama
  Basically if a book could be a smile. A heartwarming story about an enigmatic librarian recommending five people a random book that changes their lives.

• Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
  A young boy runs from home and encounters a variety of weird but wonderful moments. It blurs the lines between reality and fiction and I find it suits this list for the dreamy atmosphere as well as the vivid depictions of nature and quiet life that makes one marvel at the world we live in.

• Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner
  A raw memoir about loss, grief, and identity which makes one reflect on the impermanence of life and reminds us to cherish the good moments.

• The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
  A devoted butler at a 1950s English country estate finds himself reluctantly on a holiday when his new employee orders him to. As the story progresses, introspection on a life lived in service builds, and topics like loneliness, regret, and unrealised love are touched upon. It’s one of my favourite novels; it’s melancholic but also surprisingly uplifting in the end.

• Piranesi by Susanna Clarke
  Piranesi is the sole inhabitant of a labyrinth-like world that slowly reveals itself to us. It reads like a part of a dream we try to remember. It makes me question the world we inhabit from a different perspective.

• Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
  A bored girl follows a white rabbit to a fantastical land. You all know the story. But I’m encouraging you all to reread it as an adult. It’s here because it’s my favourite children’s book and it reminds me to see the magic in the world through the eyes of my inner child.

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Until next time.

x Nora